Why Waiting For LOVE To Make You Happy Is A TERRIBLE Idea

does love make you happy

RomComs are a lie. Believe this instead.

A lot of people think finding a partner is their best chance to be happy.

But if you are single and think your happiness is dependent upon you falling in love, I suggest you change your mind.

After four decades of providing matchmaking and relationship consulting services for thousands of discerning singles, I can assure you of a few simple facts:

1. It is unrealistic to expect someone else to make and keep us happy.

Only we can make the decision to be positive, regardless of the ups and downs we experience in our lives.

To place the responsibility for our happiness on another is likely to leave us feeling insecure…and lonely

2. Appreciating the many positives in our lives  something as simple as stopping and watching a sunset  can make us feel happy.

Something as simple as stopping and watching a sunset or walking along a beach can uplift our spirits, no matter the challenges and disappointments in life.

3. Being unhappy is not likely to attract a potential partner

If you are happy and positive, you are more likely to attract that desired special someone you’d love to have in your life.

4. Smiling is a great start to meeting the right person. 

Not only does it lift our spirits but it is also catching!

The benefits of happiness.

As someone who both personally and professionally appreciates the importance of feeling happy, I have had the good fortune to attend a number of Happiness and its Causes conferences held in Australia.

Although coming from diverse backgrounds, ranging from Tibetan lamas to academic scientists, the speakers always provide a convincing case for being positive no matter how challenging the circumstances.

Not one who has suggested that we place the responsibility on anyone else — including a partner — for ourselves being happy.

There are a lot of benefits to being happy, well beyond just the obvious.

At a recent Happiness conference, significant results from research conducted in the US by Lyubomirski and King provided a convincing rationale for the benefits of looking on the sunny side of life no matter how gray the day.

Based upon these positive outcomes, it would seem that being happy is not only likely to enhance our chances of attracting — but also of keeping — a loving partner.

According to their research:

Happy people…

Are more productive at work and more creative

Make more money and have superior jobs

Are better leaders and negotiators

Are more likely to marry and to have fulfilling marriages and less likely to divorce

Have more friends and social support

Have stronger immune systems, are physically healthier, and even live longer

Are more helpful and philanthropic

Cope better with stress and trauma

So turn that frown upside down!   

Having a positive approach to life, regardless of the challenges, is likely to not only help boost your health, wealth and happiness — but also to increase your chances of finding and keeping love!

Yvonne is an Expert Author and contributor to YourTango

Like to know more? Visit Yvonne Allen’s website or discover her eBooks on Amazon.

Some dos and don’ts when dating a woman with a career!

A successful woman

As a matchmaker I have often heard single men say that they find it difficult to know if a woman who works in a business or professional role is interested or available…even after a first date. It seems that the supposedly innate flirting response has gone missing! Unfortunately, this is not surprising given that these days many women who have demanding careers conceal their softer, more feminine attributes as they strive to achieve.

When you have an initial date with a woman with a demanding career, I strongly recommend avoiding conversations to do with her work…it will prevent her from relaxing. Topics of conversations about common interests such as travel, movies, sport or music can help you to both to be at ease.  Activities such as visiting an art gallery after a morning coffee then sharing lunch,  or walking in the botanical gardens or along a beach while chatting can help to bring her feminine self to the fore.

If you arrange to meet after work, be aware that the demands of her day may have left her stressed and needing to unwind. Talking about topics unrelated to work over a glass of wine or dinner will help her to enjoy the moment and boost her feel good hormones!

Be aware that the tendency these days for women to focus ‘as if a man’ can conceal feminine attributes that you can help to flourish as you get to know each other. It is worthwhile having a second date unless there is no likelihood of friendship which is the basis of any potential relationship.

Don’t assume she isn’t interested in seeing you again unless she says so.

Do focus on enjoying being in the present.

Don’t look for what is missing at the outset

If you have enjoyed your time together, do let her know that you will contact her within a few days …and do so!

 

Are you happy? If not, cheer up – it’s great for your health!

Are You Happy

Over recent years I have had the good fortune to attend a number of Happiness and its Causes conferences now held in Australia annually.  As on previous occasions, the presentations, events and activities this year were informative and the general atmosphere really motivating and uplifting.

Below are some significant results from research provided by Lyubomirski and King based in the US who have written several papers  that provide a convincing rationale for us to look on the sunny side of life no matter how grey the day…..

Happy people…

Are more productive at work and more creative

Make more money and have superior jobs

Are better leaders and negotiators

Are more likely to marry and to have fulfilling marriages, and less likely to divorce

Have more friends and social support

Have stronger immune systems, are physically healthier, and even live longer

Are more helpful and philanthropic

Cope better with stress and trauma

Having a positive approach to life regardless of the challenges is likely to help boost your health, wealth and happiness!