RomComs are a lie. Believe this instead.
A lot of people think finding a partner is their best chance to be happy.
After four decades of providing matchmaking and relationship consulting services for thousands of discerning singles, I can assure you of a few simple facts:
1. It is unrealistic to expect someone else to make and keep us happy.
Only we can make the decision to be positive, regardless of the ups and downs we experience in our lives.
To place the responsibility for our happiness on another is likely to leave us feeling insecure…and lonely
2. Appreciating the many positives in our lives — something as simple as stopping and watching a sunset — can make us feel happy.
Something as simple as stopping and watching a sunset or walking along a beach can uplift our spirits, no matter the challenges and disappointments in life.
3. Being unhappy is not likely to attract a potential partner
If you are happy and positive, you are more likely to attract that desired special someone you’d love to have in your life.
4. Smiling is a great start to meeting the right person.
Not only does it lift our spirits but it is also catching!
The benefits of happiness.
As someone who both personally and professionally appreciates the importance of feeling happy, I have had the good fortune to attend a number of Happiness and its Causes conferences held in Australia.
Although coming from diverse backgrounds, ranging from Tibetan lamas to academic scientists, the speakers always provide a convincing case for being positive no matter how challenging the circumstances.
Not one who has suggested that we place the responsibility on anyone else — including a partner — for ourselves being happy.
There are a lot of benefits to being happy, well beyond just the obvious.
At a recent Happiness conference, significant results from research conducted in the US by Lyubomirski and King provided a convincing rationale for the benefits of looking on the sunny side of life no matter how gray the day.
Based upon these positive outcomes, it would seem that being happy is not only likely to enhance our chances of attracting — but also of keeping — a loving partner.
According to their research:
Are more productive at work and more creative
Make more money and have superior jobs
Are better leaders and negotiators
Are more likely to marry and to have fulfilling marriages and less likely to divorce
Have more friends and social support
Have stronger immune systems, are physically healthier, and even live longer
Are more helpful and philanthropic
Cope better with stress and trauma
So turn that frown upside down!
Yvonne is an Expert Author and contributor to YourTango